lI’m glad I’m writing on here and keeping up with my thoughts, when my brain isn’t foggy, adjusting or processing.

It works exactly like a computer and I would say that our brains are better then a computer to say not, is to say that a computer a machine is smarter then us. I beg to differ!!

I was injured and I always try to look for the fault that I have caused in any circumstance, am I being selfish, is there something better I could of done, did I take advantage of that person in anyway. I guess you can say I have always been worried about the other person more then myself and asking for help, has always been a down right problem for me.

I rather remain silent then ask or I rather figure it out for myself. In my experience asking for help has led to disappointment. It was either used against me latter or completely taken advantage of. There was no balance and maybe because there was “no balance” for me!

No, NO button. The word NO was so foreign it seemed. “My needs” and the mere mention of it would make me startled, realizing I was a separate person from anything going on in my circumstances and I did have needs. Yet, I needed to discover just what those needs were and what they meant to me. I found them, in the most unlikely of places and I am not sure now that I know if they will be met.

I have faith they will be but old/new can’t mix any longer. I have reached yet another trial and I am fighting depression in a major way. I have to force myself to get out of myself long enough to fight within my circumstances.

There is no one that is around that truly understands and the people that might are all too far away. You can’t rely on people and some people, no matter what you do or how much you want to fight for them, will want to fight for themselves.

The power given to another is so prevalent in today’s society, it’s like we are afraid to stand apart, different and out. We are afraid to dig deep and face our fears. Are wills are stronger then ever but if only some realized.

Your standing against yourself.

People are impatient, it’s very rare for a simple thank you and words of affirmation to mean much to others. Money makes the world go around and it’s proof positive that your appreciation means something.

A piece of paper or currency over someone’s character and integrity, unconditional love would mean so much more to most!

I don’t know why this boggles my mind, it’s like something I can’t fathom.

Authenticity, or to dare to be authentic is at a scarce low. The fear one has over being who they are meant to be, is so terrifying to others that they rather conform to the opinions of the ones whom they think are right for them.

The ones that front the outside looking in, you can see the hurt and anguish they cause another. Yet, what I have seen through this past journey is people “crave” the attention of the wrong people. The people they know will hurt them in the end.

Hek, I think everyone has done this a time or two. Is it loyalty?, Or is it loyalty to the wrong people?

In my experience it’s been both loyalty and to the wrong people. That it some how justified being un loyal to the right people, that they would somehow always understand because those were the understanding, compassionate and loving ones.

BUT even those people must have their “boundaries” (I know the word everyone, loves) or else compassion, loyalty, understanding, empathy and the ability to love will be mistaken as a weakness WHEN…….

It’s someone’s GREATEST STRENGTH!!💕💕💕💕💫💫